You have undoubtedly heard the adage, “It takes a village to raise a child.” I saw that firsthand last week with my kiddos. Our daughter needed to go from track practice to volleyball practice to softball practice—all in one evening. I called in my mom village reinforcements and sent a text to a friend to see if she could run our daughters to practice. While she was running the girls around town and my husband was at work, I was dealing with our son.
Our son is a model student, and I am not just exaggerating like most mammas do. He NEVER gets in the slightest trouble at school. Teachers say they wish they had 25 of him each year. So I was confused and heartbroken to hear he was in huge trouble this day. I was having a mamma meltdown over it. I went to the school in tears, talked to him in tears, and called my husband in tears. When I didn’t get the response I expected from my husband, I called another friend in tears.
Here is where my mom village stepped up big time. This friend listened sympathetically to my story including my rant about how my husband wasn’t as concerned as he should be. My sweet friend then told me I was overreacting. She used nicer words, of course, but she told me that my husband was right and I was wrong. Usually, I hate to hear that I am wrong, but I needed to hear it that day. It was like a virtual slap on the face like they used to do in old t.v. shows when women were hyperventilating.
My dear friend assured me that my son would not turn out to be a serial killer someday and that my reaction to this minor incident may be influenced by the fact that I was not feeling well. What I couldn’t hear from my husband at the moment, I accepted immediately from a friend. That is why we need our mom village.
So who is part of your mom village? Do you have a variety of women of different ages and temperaments and outlooks on life to advise you, or have you surrounded yourself with YES women who will always say you are right?
And how much do you share with your mom village? Do you only consult them on really big matters? Or would you rather keep the big matters private and only talk to your village on the small things? Or maybe you only share the things that make you look like a great mom and the less shiny parts of motherhood you sweep under the rug?
The truth is that you can’t do this mom thing alone. God did not design it to work alone. He created us for community because what you can’t provide for your kiddos, He has a friend of yours already in place who can. But if you don’t get real with your village and share your needs, then God’s provision for your child will be wasted. I feel like I am being harsh, and for that I don’t apologize. You need mom friends to encourage you. You need mom friends to advise you. You need mom friends to hold your hand or metaphorically slap your face.
I want you to grab a piece of paper and a pen right now. Make a list of all your mom friends. Write down their name and what their specific gifts and abilities are. Does this one know about home remedies? Can this one pray like no one else you know? Does this one have older children who have been through the school system your child attends? Make this list as detailed as you can. This is your village roster. This is your starting point for making your mom village as robust and functional as you can.
And don’t forget to put down the moms who are hurting. Is this mom worried about her child’s grades? Is this mom going through a divorce and is terrified it will scar her children? Does this mom need summer clothes for her kids?
Now you need to get your village connected. God may be calling you to be the village chief. Don’t push aside His call like Moses or Jonah tried to do. Read more to see what God has in store for you and your mom village.
