Last week I shared about the importance of our daughters developing a moldable, inner life that is responsive to the touch of God. You can read part 1 of How to Help Your Daughter Become Caramel Filled here.
I promised to share the six things you as a mamma can do to help your daughter cultivate that inner center that is responsive to God.
Read the Bible together.
Your daughter may be hesitant to read the Bible much. The Bible is very different from the latest teen book craze. In the Hunger Games there were a handful of main characters that readers got to know really well as they followed them through the series. The Bible has thousands of characters that come and go through the pages, and it can be very difficult for our girls to get a clear picture of who is who. They may also be intimidated by the wording of some translations. Instead of digging deep to try to grasp what is being said, many preteens and teenagers just decide that the Bible is too hard for them so they give up reading. If your daughter falls into this category, it is essential for you to read the Bible together. You can help explain the difficult parts and make it accessible to her.
Your daughter may instead be one who reads the Bible faithfully all on her own. If that describes your girl, wonderful! I pray she is getting the insight, instruction, and inspiration she needs. But while you certainly want to encourage her to read it on her own, it is also important for you to read it together. Show an interest in what she is reading. Reinforce the importance of connecting with God as you read His word.
Discuss the Bible.
Whether you have read a passage together or you asked her about what she is reading, the next step is to discuss what she read. This will give you valuable insight into the depth of her understanding of spiritual truth. You can correct any misinterpretation. You can provide context or information about other characters that might shed light on the passage at hand. You can wrestle together with tough passages. And your discussions can make the words on the page come alive.
Pose
ethical questions.
Almost every page in the Bible lends itself to an ethical question. The early church sold their possessions to give as people had need—does God expect us to do the same? David was called a man after God’s own heart, but he had multiple wives. Is polygamy ok? Your ethical questions may come straight from the pages of the Scripture or from the latest posts on your Facebook feed. Pose those questions to your daughter and see what she has to say. Does her ethical outlook line up with God’s outlook? Find out if she is getting her worldview from the Word of God or from the world.
Pose scenarios and discuss what guidance the Bible gives.
It will be much easier for your daughter to make decisions that honor God when her emotions aren’t part of the decision-making process. For instance, the time to decide how far a Christian should go with a boy is not when she in a dark movie theatre on her first date. Pose scenarios to your daughter when you are home in your sweats. Then she will be able to search the Scripture for guidance.
She may not be able to make connections between the thee’s and thou’s of the Bible and the day-to-day decisions of her modern world without your help. Ask her what the Bible says she should do if she hears a friend talk about her behind her back. Then when she is in one of these situations she will be more likely to respond how God would have her to respond than if she waited to let her emotions rule.
Teach her how to study the Bible and pray.
How old was your daughter when you taught her how to properly brush her teeth? Chances are you taught her when she was very small and have taken it for granted all these years that she is doing it properly. A few months ago I mentioned something about brushing my tongue around an infected taste bud. My daughter looked at me in astonishment. She had no idea that brushing her tongue was supposed to be part of the tooth brushing routine.
We take it for granted that our kids know how to study the Bible or pray when in fact they may not know. And there are so many different methods of Bible study. And some methods work better with certain passages than with others. Look up different ways to study the Bible and different methods of prayer and teach them to your daughter. You both might find a new favorite way.
Make time for quiet time.
I challenge you to clock one day for your daughter. Write down all her activities for the day and how much time she is spending in each. Now find down time in her day that she can be quiet. If your daughter is anything like mine, down time is a rare luxury. She loves playing sports and reading books and playing instruments and texting friends and scrolling through Instagram. Even while she is getting ready for school she has her phone out watching Netflix. Sometimes she needs me to help her unplug. A few weeks ago I asked her to cut out electronics for a few days so we could focus on other things. She actually thanked me.
It is hard to find the mental space for a quiet time when there are so many other things competing for your daughter’s attention. It might take mamma stepping in to say no to good things so she has time for the best things. (And it wouldn’t hurt mamma to model good behavior in this area as well.)
I know this post is longer than usual, but that is because it is so important. There is no higher calling as a mom than to help your daughter grow her spiritual walk. It takes effort and attention, but the rewards of a daughter who loves, trusts, and follows God is priceless.
What else are you doing to cultivate a caramel filled center in your girl? Leave a comment below.
